One week late, but who’s counting! It’s November friends, I cannot believe it.
2019 has given me some good highs & some of the lowest lows I’ve ever felt. It’s honestly been one of the most transformative years of my life so far. There’s been countless hours of hard work this year to arise out of depression & really unpack the distorted beliefs I’ve been living with for the past 10+ years. I now believe more than ever before the thoughts we think every day, generates our own belief system, that creates the words we speak & decisions we make. While this seems relatively simple, when you experience & realize how potent the distorted, invented, & fictitious some of our thoughts are – it’s scary how much they can affect the quality of your life. Living in that negative state was pushing my goals and dreams further away each day. And I’m happy & proud I made the decision to change what I was doing, invest in myself, and promise myself I would keep going.
Being thankful of your journey: This month I saw a shift in my attitude, thankfulness & understanding for what I’ve been through. I want to remember this feeling and remind myself that I am capable of forgiving myself. I don’t want to turn my back on my past self, or try to forget the hurdles & triumphs that has sculpted who I am. I want to move forward owning every ounce of my journey, even if it’s not perfect.
Do things that fill your cup: I’ve had phases of doing too much & then crashing and wanting to do NOTHING. This month, I really tried to plan with balance in mind. Still wanting to do fun activities with friends, yoga classes (my Yoga for 30 Days is one of my most popular posts, and I’m still sticking with it), work events, visiting my parents; but also blocking off moments/days/weekend for relaxing, cleaning, catching up on my favorite shows, reading & walking around. I have learned that I can’t be myself or serve anyone without showing up for me, and blocking out this time helps me fill up my cup.
I (surprisingly) love reading: For YEARS, I never read books, or I would force myself to read way too many self-help books (which in-turn made me feel WORSE about some things). And since I joined a book club about 4 months ago, I absolutely love reading fiction books. I’ll try to make another post on what we’ve read so far, but it’s such a nice escape – especially in the morning on my commute to work.
Sign up for a dating app/maybe go on a date: My ex & I broke up back in February – since then, I haven’t made moves in my dating life. Friends & family would ask and I would respond with ‘oh ya know, it’ll happen eventually’ and it’s like I blinked and the whole year went by. So, taking it slow. A little nervous, but excited!
Let work just be work: I changed teams internally at my company about 2 months ago & so far it’s going great. The work is different, but a lot less time constraining. I am not in the office until 8-9pm anymore, I get one-third the emails I used too, and my stress level has dropped dramatically (and no more panic attacks – thank goodness). Even though I am still motivated & want to excel, I am consciously stepping back a little. I don’t feel as though I need to over-achieve in the way I used too, where I was doing way more than my job & signing up for work that someone else could/should have handled.